but you sound like a hick sometimes
by katniss and peeta lover
Summary: first joshifer story. jen starts feeling something for josh but does he feel the same way towards her?
1. Chapter 1

Jennifer's pov-  
I hated this, i hated being away for so long filming some stupid movie, i missed my family and my friends but most of all i missed Josh. we had met at some award show a while ago and we had been best friends ever since and when we both got the roles we wanted in 'the hunger games' movie franchise we grew even closer together, we would have dinner and talk about random things and he had been there for me when nick and i split up, nick had cheated on me with some british model and i thought i could no longer trust him, so i ended our two-year relationship. i was heartbroken but Josh was there for me when i needed him most. anyway shooting in london was nearly over and i could go home soon, i mean don't get me wrong the cast and crew were great but i just needed some familiar faces with me.i sometimes had to get up at stupid time in the morning and well this was one of those days. i got out of bed still feeling a little sleepy and went to the kitchen in my hotel room where i had been staying, i decided to turn mtv on and started dancing round the room whilst making myself some breakfast. i wasnt the greatest dancer in the world but hell i was enjoying myself. even though im 22 i still think like a teenager. 'knock knock' ugh who was this now, probably some hotel manager telling me to turn the music down. i turned around and opened the door and there stood none other than my best friend ever, Josh.

"Josh, what are you doing here, i would have thought it would be too early for you seen as though it's just after 5". i said happily as soon as i opened the door. " jen you have to listen to me"his voice was stern and serious something was wrong "you have to go home now its your dad he's been in an accident and in hospital, im so sorry." he told, i couldn't process what he was telling me. my dad, what had happened to him "n n n no this c can't be happening w what happened?" i said sobbing as i ran into his arms and he held me tight. " jen im so sorry, he was in a fire but you need to pack and go home, go see him, come on." i led him into my room the tears still cascading down my face and landing on the floor as we packed my stuff.  
" your mom has already booked our flight back to la, come on." he said to me once we were in the car on the way to the airport. " why did you tell me josh why didn't my mom ring me?" i asked hiccups from the crying interrupting my speech. "well i was already in london coming to see you and well your mom thought it would be easier coming from me because were best friends" he replied the sadness still in his voice from seeing me so upset, at this point in the car ride i was curled up next to him, my head buried between his jaw line and his sholder with a blacked out parting between us and the driver. "Josh why does all this stuff happen to me, why does it seem like im the one getting all the bad luck all the time, first nick now this?" i asked him but i knew he didn't know the answer. as we pulled up outside the airport i tried my hardedst to wipe my tears from my face but the evidence that i had been crying was still there great now the paps would know.


	2. Chapter 2

"Jennifer, over here" , "Jen, this way","Jennifer have you been crying","why are you crying". god, stupid paparazzi didn't they realize i wanted to be left alone, didn't they get by me walking away i didn't want to answer their questions. "Josh why is she crying" , "whats wrong with her"," are you two dating" wait what did someone just ask if we were dating - no as much as i wanted him too Josh would never see me that way. "no me and Jennifer are not dating, and i would really appreciate it if you left her alone, don't you realize if someone walks away you should leave them alone" he shouts, aw Josh is so cute when he's angry. "sorry sir, miss Lawrence, i guess we'll be on pur way then" on of them replies. as we walk up to check in the woman behind the counter tries to make small talk but i can barely hear her, my mind is racing, will my dad survive, what will happen to my mother if he does die. "no Jennifer stop thinking like that" i tell myself "he wont die not yet, he will grow old and be able to watch your career blossom" i add.

"Jen, Jen ,Jennifer are you ok?" asks a very worried looking Josh "what, oh yeah im fine why did you ask?" i reply. "you were crying that's all" oh so that was why the receptionist was looking at me funny "oh" i say wiping me tears away quickly "i was just thinking that's all" i add. "well there are your tickets, miss Lawrence and mr Hutcherson, such a pleasure to meet you both" she says the last part in a whisper as she hands us our tickets. "thank you, it was a pleasure meeting you too" Josh says taking the tickets from her hand.

we leave the reception and go streight through security and jump streight onto the plane. we take our seats in first class, mine right next to Josh's. and ten minutes later we are on the runway ready for take off. without realising my hand sought out Josh's and i was gripping onto it as if my life depended on it. god how i hated flying. "Jen, Jen let go please, my hand is being crushed" he said sounding genuinely in pain "oh god im so sorry are you ok, i didn't realise, it's just i hate flying and take off is the worst part" i explain. "jen its ok just let go ok, why don't you get some rest, i bet you didn't get much last night and we still have a while before we land, ill just wake you up then" he says sounding so caring it makes my heart melt. instead of saying anything i just nod and place my head on his shoulder. and before i know it im dreaming of all the good times me and my father had when i was a little girl, taking me to the football and taking me horse riding and them im dreaming of him being murdered in the worst possible ways, beheading, drowning, burning and electrocution are just some of the ways i see my father get killed. "Jennifer wake up, please wake up, it's just a dream, please wake up" and suddenly im being shaken awake by a very shook up Josh. "DAD NOOOO, don't die please" i scream and im crying hysterically. "jen wake up it was just a dream, your dad, he's not dead, please come back to me, please." he says as i open my eyes and realise where i am.


	3. Chapter 3

**ooo i didnt know how to do this before hahah. well what do you think so far, please review because it feels like im writing to nobody but i can see 83 of you lovely people have read it so one of you must have some thing to say :)**

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"Jen, its ok, it's just a dream." Josh says to me as I sob uncontrollably into his chest. "shhh, its ok, you'll be ok" he says. I look out of the window and see we are almost landing, "do you want to talk about it?" he asks me, but instead of replying I just shake my head, that was still resting on his chest. "ok then do you want a drink?" again I just shake my head as the flight attendant came past. he didn't say anything for the rest of the flight and I didn't make any attempt to move or make any sort of convosation.

As we collected our bags from the carousel Josh started to make small talk. "Listen Jen, your dad, he's going to be ok you know, he's a fighter, a survivor just like you" he says but im not sure if its true or he's just trying to reassure me. "Can we just go to the hospital now please?" I say trying to hide the anger in my voice unsuccessfully but if Josh heard it he didn't show it. "ok, yeah, the car is outside waiting ."He says as he grabs the bags from my hands.

As we pull up to the hospital, I walk up to the front desk and they lead me down what must be a million hallways, a maze that's never-ending, with Josh hot on my heels. I just want to get there as fast as I can to see my father. As the nurse leads me into the room, my mother jumps up, hugs me tight and trys to explain what happened but I can barely hear her. I sit down by his bedside, my mother and Josh talking outside. "I might not have told you this enough times, but I love you, you were always the one who made me stronger when i felt like quitting, the one who made me happy when I was down , you know all the shit that ive been through and yet you still don't judge me. I love you, please don't leave me, i want you to be there when I have kids, I want you to be at EVERY movie première and I want you to be by my side if I win any more awards and get drunk celebrating if I do." I said to him my eyes full of tears but I held them back, I had to be strong, for my father. As soon as the first tear falls from my face, my mom comes into the room and hugs me as if she might never let go. At that point as if by some telepathic communication we have as mother and daughter we both know he's not going to come around that prehaps this time next week we will be arranging his funeral. Just as I make eye contact with Josh I hear a beeping noise beside me and I know he's gone.

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**please review, hope you liked this chapter, i know its kinda short but i thought it was a good place to end it.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Well here's chapter 4, please review and I hope you like it :) **

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_Just as I make eye contact with Josh I hear a beeping noise beside me and I know he's gone. _

my mother and I sob into each others shoulders for what seems like forever and I hardly notice Josh come into the room to join in with the hug. we were in the family room now, the doctors had moved us out when they came to collect my dad, me and my mom didn't part from our hug though. "Jen, don't worry, we'll get through this together."Josh said, how the hell would he know he hasn't just lost one of the most important things in the world. "Karen, Ben and Blaine are here." he added as my brothers walked into the room dried tears on both their faces. why couldn't my life be simple for once, why did all the shit happen to me all at once? As my mom walks out of the room to talk to my brothers, Josh takes her place and now im hugging him, letting my tears fall onto his shirt.

3 hours later and we were at my apartment in LA, silence filling the room, not awkward though, just a silence that means everyone's thinking. The room feels empty without my dad filling the room with his laughter, he was always the one that told stories, the one who would make us all happy after something bad had happened. but now he couldn't, now he would never tell any of us he loved us, tell any of us he was happy for what we'd done or tell any of us to carry on living our lives with our head held high.

I didn't think I had this many tears in me, but how wrong was I, I cried untill morning, not caring if anyone could hear me, my mom in the guest room beside mine, Josh on the sofa, he didn't want to leave us alone after Ben and Blaine had left. I didn't have a wink of sleep last night, my thoughts racing around in my head. As I go to the bathroom I hear something clattering in the kitchen, Josh probably, my mother would still be in her room. "Josh,is that you?" I ask waiting for a reply. "oh Jen, your awake." a male voice comes from the kitchen, it was Josh. As I walked into the room, I saw he was making pancakes. "Josh, what makes you think I got any sleep last night, didn't you hear me sobbing?" I asked him "oh and can I have some of those please?" I added. "I dunno Jen, I thought it was your mom crying you know, and yeah sure I've made enough mixture." He replied as he came over and hugged me. "Jen, I know this is a really inappropriate time to tell you this and you don't have to answer right now if you don't want to, but I've felt this way since I first met you, you are amazing and beautiful, I, I like you Jen, as more than a friend, and I really wish you felt the same but if you don't no matter." he said, wow isn't this what I've waited for? isn't this exactly what I thought of him?


	5. Chapter 5

**Please review, I hope you like it so far :)**

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After a long silent pause he speaks up, "jen its ok,I get it I really do." he says with sadness in his voice. No I didn't want him to think that I didn't like him back because that couldn't have been further from the truth. "Josh, no please don't go, I,I,I like you too a lot, it's just not the right time, not yet but please will you wait for me to get there because I really want to Josh, please." I say as he turns to leave. after he hears my words and they register in his head he runs up to me and hugs me "for you I'd wait forever."

Around the table as we were eating our pancakes in silence my mom came out of her room with fresh tears on her face, it was obvious she had no sleep last night. If I thought it was hard what must it be like for her, to lose her one and only true love. I tried to imagine loosing Josh that way and the thought alone brought tears to my eyes what must it be like in reality? She sits beside me and Josh makes small talk but no one is listening and he knows it. "so Karen, Jen what are you doing today?" he asks, my mom gives me a look that she says she can't answer. "we're going to the morgue to see him." I answer, my voice shaky. he looks at me knowingly, it's that look that says he's sorry for us. Just then my phone rings, its my publicist, Liz. "hello" I say "Jennifer, I'm so sorry, I couldn't belive it when I read it this morning, it was so sudden, why didn't you tell me?" She says in reply, wait the death of my father was in the tabloids this morning, what the hell. "What the fuck is my father's death in the papers, its family business, how the hell do they know!" I shout down the phone, my sudden outburst shocking her. "Jennifer listen to me, I don't know how they got the information, probably someone from the hospital, after they'd followed you there from the airport, I get that its family business, I really do, but it's because of your job, they will do anything they can to get information on you." she replies calmly. "Please just calm down, they will do anything they can to get a reaction from you, to get a new story, don't do anything rash, go to the morgue, do whatever you were going to do today and don't let them get to you, ok" She adds. why was she always right? "ok bye" I say before putting the phone down. My mother and Josh look at me with shocked expressions on their faces. "dads in the news." I say flatly. My mom looks as if she is about to cry and Josh is still in shock. "WHAT" he shouts. "Exactly what you heard Josh." I reply sounding pissed. "I think I should leave shouldnt I, you and your mom need some time alone." he says, I don't want him to leave but he's right, we do need time alone . "yeah, whatever, do what you want Josh." I still sounded pissed and I was at many things. "ok, ill see you later Jen, Karen goodbye." he said as he left.

As soon as we walked into the morgue, my mother broke down in tears, I felt like doing the same, but I know I couldn't, that I had to be strong for her. "Mom, its ok, we don't need to do this if you don't want to we can leave now if you like." the strength in my voice wavering. "n,n,no its ok I,I,I can do this." she replied. We walked into the room where he was and we both walked over to his side, I had to stop myself from running away. I couldn't bear it anymore and that's exactly what I did and as I ran outside the building onto the street I saw a flash of light to my left.

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**their relationship should start properly in like the next to chapters :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**the day of the funeral, poems and readings later are not mine :) **

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It was the day of the funeral, the worst day of my life so far, me and my family and a couple of family friends all went down to the local church, nothing big and fancy, simple like how he would want it to be. In the morning around 9am, my brothers came round and the tears were soon flowing. After around an hour of non stop crying a text message cam through, it was Josh.

_**Be strong today baby, he would want that, do you want me there or is it just family?**_ It read, it seems strange that two people who are best friends haven't talked to each other during a really hard time, but we haven't, I was busy arranging the funeral, and he knew so he didnt bother me. _**Of course you can come, its just family and friends, but you can come if you want to. **_I replied, his was quick to come.

_**Ok, I'll see you there. **_It read.

We were in the car on the way to the church when the message bombardement began, my publisist, my friends, co-stars and directors. All saying how I must stay strong or that they're there for me if I ever need them. As we pulled up outside the church, there was a few clicks and flashes of pictures being taken but not too many. As me and my mom walked into the church, my brothers staying outside to help carry the coffin in, I saw Josh, he smiled sadly at me as we walked past. "come sit with me, please" I said and he did. we sat down after the coffin had been brought in, he squeezed my had tightly and the service began.

The service flew by and before I knew it it was my turn to speak, I got up, prised my mothers hand from mine and proceeded to the front of the church. "My father was the bravest, kindest, most caring man I have ever met, he was always there for me and my brothers, but most of all for my mom, he had the heart of an angel and the mind of a genius. Dad, I know I didnt see much of you over the past couple of months and you dont know how much I regret wasting that precious time I had with you before you were cruelly ripped away from my life. I love you, I know I didn't say it enough but I did, with all my heart. And I know you will never leave us because you have a very special place in all our hearts. We love you dad." I say

"God saw you getting tired,

A cure was not meant to be,

So he put his arms around you,

And whispered 'come to me',

With tearful eyes we watched you,

As we saw you pass away,

Although we loved you deeply,

We could not make you stay,

Your golden heart stopped beating,

Hard working hands at rest,

God broke our hearts to prove to us,

He only takes the best.

I thought of you with love today,

But that is nothing new,

I thought about you yesterday,

And the day before that too,

I think of you in silence,

I often speak your name,

All I have are memories,

Your picture in a frame,

Your memory is my keepsake,

With which I'll never part,

God has you in his keeping,

I have you in my heart. I love you Dad." I finished, crying I walked back over to mom and Josh. The whole church was in tears. "That was beautiful." he said

As we lowered his coffin into the ground, we all said a few words. I love you's or we miss you's. As we piled the earth on top of him.

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**please review :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 here it is, only a short one but please review :)**

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**'Joshyyy, can you come over please, I need a hug :(' **my text read, it was a week after my fathers funeral, and I think I've done well coping, well as well as you can cope after something like that. '**Of course Jennyyyy, I'll be there in 5.'** came his reply. My mom was out for the day with one of her friends, good, she needed to get out of the house to take her mind of recent events. As I lay down on my couch, E! News on the tv, I saw my face, 'Jennifer Lawrence loses Father in freak accident' the headline read great, now I was all over the news, again. A few of my pictures came up on my screen along with the ones the paps took outside the morgue. Just then a knock came on my door, I knew who it was. I quickly shut off my TV and answered the door, "I belive somebody needs a hug." Were the first words out of his mouth and instead of answering him I ran into his arms and buried my head in the crook of his shoulder. I started crying then, I don't know why. we stayed like this for some time, and when he lead me over to my couch, we broke apart, "oh Jen,come here" he said when he saw I was still crying. I leaned into him and he wrapped his strong arms around me. It was now or never, "Josh, I, I cant do this anymore, I need you, I need to mean more to you than just a friend." He just lifts my head of his shoulder and kisses me slowly, he slides his tongue across my lip and I grant him entrance, our tongues battling for dominance, when breath becomes a problem we pull away. "you don't know how long I've wanted to do that." he says, I'm giggling like a teenager.

We spend the rest of our time together cuddling and watching films while waiting for my mom to come home. And when she does finally come home just after 6pm, she knows something is going on between me and Josh, she leaves the subject alone and instead invites Josh to have dinner with us. We order out, a Chinese, and me being the stupid klutz that I am say something inappropriate, "baby, will you pass the salt please." shit, I just called Josh baby in front of my mom. She cocks an eyebrow in my direction, I just shake my head, I will not hear the end of that tonight.

"Jen, whats going on between you two."she asks as soon as Josh leaves, will the woman not give me a minutes peace "mom,please,we'll talk tomorrow, Im tired, I wanna go to bed." I say trying to avoid the subject. "mmm, ok goodnight" she says as I walk into my room. When I am ready for bed and wrapped up, I pick up my phone from the night stand and text Josh. "Goodnight baby, I miss you." it said and his reply was almost immediate. "Goodnight Jen, I miss you too, now go the sleep, sleepy head." it read


	8. Chapter 8

**chapeter 8 here it is, going to try and update once a night but I have school so if I dont I'm sorry :)**

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As I wake for a peaceful sleep, I smile to myself, remembering last night. "good morning." I say to my mom as I walk into the kitchen where she is already sat eating her breakfast in silence, "good morning" she replies as she looks up with a smile in her face, I already know the next line out of her mouth. "so, you and Josh, whats going on Jen?" she questions, her eyebrows raised, she's expecting an answer. "I like him, he likes me what more is there to say except that we finally admitted it to each other last night and well he kissed me." I say in such a rush that it's a wonder she heard what I said. She doesn't say anything though just nods and looks back at her cereal. "Is there something wrong with that?" I ask getting annoyed. "no,no,it's perfectly fine, just think about your future, that's all I'm asking." she replied. "I am doing." I say before walking back into my room to get ready for the day. As I check my phone I see that I have a message from Josh. **"what are you doing today babe, come over if you're not doing anything, got something to ask you :)" **It read. **"mmmm, I might just do that, now you have me intrigued x"** my reply said. As I got ready into my sweats and a tank top, not very sexy I know but I couldn't be bothered finding anything else. "I'm going to Josh's is that ok?" I ask my mom, she can't really say no but I wanted to ask anyway. "hmm" I'll take that as a yes.

As I'm driving in my car, a song I know only too well comes on,

_Should've kissed you there I should've held your face I should've watched those eyes Instead of run in place I should've called you out I should've said your name I should've turned around I should've looked again But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made I'm staring at the mess I made I'm staring at the mess I made As you turn, you take your heart and walk away._

It was the song I was in the music video for. The radio switches off as I turn the ignition to get out as I am now parked on Josh's driveway. I smooth my hair down as I walk to his door but there's no need to knock, he's already there waiting for me. "well, well ,well, if it isn't ms Jennifer Lawrence, gracefully standing at my doorstep at what, 10:30." he says sarcastically as he looks at his watch, "let me in you ass." I say as I walk past him into his living room. "so what did you want to ask me?" I ask as he sits beside me and cuddles me. "well Jen its been a long time coming, but will you be my girlfriend and go out for a date with me tonight?" was he really asking me that. "oh Josh, of course I will." And then he kisses me, not slow and steady like last night, but rough and hard. my arms find his neck and his find my waist. when air becomes a problem we break away. "so that's a yes then." I chuckle at that.

I wear a rad dress for mine and Josh's date, people say blondes look sexy in red so I'll give it a go. At 7:30 exactly Josh knocks on my door, and he leads me to his motorcycle after I say goodbye to my mom, claiming that I'll be spending the night at Josh's so not to wait up. We get a few glances as we walk into my favourite restaurant, and are shown to a table at the back. The covosation is full of movie quotes, "I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you", "you love me real or not real" to which I answer "real".

The rest of the date goes by uneventful and before I know it, we are back at Josh's place, and we're kissing again. His hands exploring my back and mine exploring his chest, he leads me so im laying on his couch and he is on top of me. Soon his hands are in my pants and I stop dead in my tracks.

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**oooo cliff hanger, I'm sorry I had to, next chapter will be up soon though I promise. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 here it is WARNING some details of abuse etc. so if you don't want to read I'll give a quick explanation at the bottom.**

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As his hand reached into my pants, I stopped dead in my tracks and he knew he had crossed some invisible line. "Jennifer, please tell me whats wrong, tell me what that monster did to you to make you not want to love someone physically." he said to me as he got of me and rolled onto his side to face me. "Josh, I, I, I was a virgin when I met Nick but he took that away from me, having only had a couple of boyfriends before him, he was my first serious one, anyway about 6 months after I met him, he had gone out with his friends, I stayed home because I was tired. He came home drunk and I was already asleep in bed, as he came in he called my name wondering where I was, by this time I was awake from all the shouting so I said I was in the bedroom. He came in, obviously angry about something 'how dare you go to bed without me!' he shouted and he grabbed my hair and pushed me back down onto the bed, and then he, he forced me to have sex with him. After he finished and looked down, he saw that there was blood on the sheets, so he hit me. I didn't think he was like that. Then every time he came home drunk and I hadn't gone out with him he would do it again, if I was on my period and there was blood he would hit me over and over. If not he would just roll over and pretend nothing had happened. I felt dirty Josh, like it was my fault. But I guess after all that Josh I'm just scared." I said tears flowing down my face. "oh Jen, I'm so sorry, why didn't you tell me sooner or anyone for that matter, come here." he said pulling me in for a hug. "I didn't tell anyone because of the media Josh, if I reported him and said he had done those things the media would go wild, my dad knew kinda the gist of what was going on because I went round the day after and he noticed his hand print on my cheek, he pushed the subject so far that I just told him it was Nick and that he hit me, not the whole story, I told him it wouldn't happen again, but it did." I replied "please can we not talk about this anymore and just go to sleep?" I asked and he just nodded. "goodnight Jen." "goodnight Josh" I said in reply.

_"come here you little bitch, how dare you go to bed without me" he says as he holds my hair. "please Nick, no please don't do this." I pleaded but he didn't listen. Instead he pushed me down on the bed and got on top of me "Nick, please no." I shouted this time, but it's as if I weren't there. As he pulled down my pyjamas and pulled his dick out and thrust himself inside me. I whimpered in pain. "Nick please." I was crying then, he didn't say anything just grunted and moaned saying how 'tight' I was . after he finished, he pulled out. Looking down he saw blood on the bed sheets. "how dare you, these sheets were expensive, you have no value for money, you slut." he shouted as he slapped mr repeatedly all over my body face and arms._

"Jennifer,its ok, your safe, Nick isn't here, he isn't hurting you." A male voice says. As I wake up I feel fresh tears on my face and I see a man beside me in bed. I jump startled from my recent nightmare. "Jen, its ok, its me, its Josh." he says his voice calm. " he, he, he raped me Josh. he, he did it again." I say new tears filling my eyes. "I know but it was just a nightmare, just try to go to sleep, please." he pleaded with me and try as I might I could not get back to sleep, that fateful night replaying in my head. "you bitch," and "how dare you bleed all over these sheets." playing over and over.

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**so basically, Josh tries to go further with Jen but she doesn't want to, she's scared because of what Nick did to her, he raped her when he came back home one night drunk and the abuse continued, she didn't want to tell anyone and she didn't not untill Josh, She then has a nightmare of the night it happened and Josh is there to comfort her.**


	10. Chapter 10

soooo soooo sooo sorry, I haven't updated in forever, well the funny thing is I've been in hospital, I was in a car crash that could have been fatal and was in a coma, now that doesn't mean I will stop updating but I may be a little slower than usual, i got really stuck with this chapter and had a huge case of writers block after I came home but here you go, please rate and review it means the world to me, Thank you, if you have any ideas please let me know

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As I'm sat eating my breakfast in Josh apartment, I notice his bedroom door open and him walk out of his room. "morning Jen" he says, "good morning Josh" I reply. "listen Jen." he starts but I cut him off "Josh please don't feel sorry for me, I don't want any more of your sympathy please, I couldn't control what happened and well I've learned to live with what happened the best I can, no I'll never be the same as I was before that, but things happen Josh and we can't change them, I'll learn to be the best I can with your help, if you'll give me the time so please don't say anything and just kiss me." And he does, slow and passionate.

"Josh, I'm gonna go for a run, I'll be back before 1, I just need to clear my head, oh and will you text my mom and tell her go do something today please." I say after we finish dinner. "hmm, yeah ok you go love, I'll tell her, now go, I love you." he says whispering the last part, and I reply with the only thing I know how, "I love you too."

As I run past my local Starbucks, an offer catches my eye, **'latte and cake pops, special offer**' in bold, just what I wanted. I got a few knowing looks of people as I walked in, a few 'is that Jennifer Lawrence' or 'its that girl who played Katniss' here and there, but nobody I know. I order a large Latte and two cake pops and take a seat in the back of the room. As I munch away, I can't help but think of how Josh used to make me cake balls on set when he knew I was on my period and my cramps were bad, the memory makes me smile. As I finish my coffee I get up and walk outside, only to be met with paparazzi. "fuck" I muttered under my breath I push past them and walk back to my apartment, sighing as I shut the door. "What happened Jen?" Josh asks "fucking paps" I reply as I sit down on the couch "just come out of Starbucks and there they were just like in my face you know, I fucking hate them, like why the hell would you follow someone round as a job, its crazy, so I just pushed passed them and flipped a few of them off." I say the venom dripping from my words. "Jen its OK, I get it I really do, oh come here you." he says as a single tear falls down my cheek. he pulls me into a hug and I say "I just can't do this anymore Josh, I feel like, like I'm being crushed by the pressure. I love my job I really do, but this part of it is a load of shit, I can't even go to Starbucks now without being followed, shit Josh I can't even take bear out and have some quality time with my nephew for fear of them hurting him." I sob into his shoulder, its true though, I feel that I can't be the aunt Bear deserves because I hardly ever spend time with him, and when I do we're always inside, I remember I took him to set in Hawaii once and there were pictures of him everywhere, no little boy should go through that. "I know Jen, I know its tough but remember I'm always here for you."


End file.
